Thankful...

A few weeks ago-right after our trip in fact-I had Alex start a thankful journal. We actually call it his Blessing Journal. It was sort of James' idea-that he needs to be more grateful for what he has here and focus on what he DOES have as opposed to the many things he things he still needs. Like an Ipod.
Each day he has to write just ONE thing he is grateful for in his journal. One thing that is better here than it was in Ukraine. Some days he has a really hard time as he's so focused on just material things. I mentioned blessing are not just things we have but things we get to do or people in our lives.
His sentences usually go like this:
I did not have my own bedroom in Ukraine now I have awesome bedroom.
Here are-in order-the things he's thankful for:
(The sentences are his words with my help in spelling and sentence structure)
Alex is thankful for:
Cold Cereal
(He really like Honey Nut Cheerios)
DS
Own Bedroom
Video Games
Family
I did not have a family but now I have a nice and awesome family.
Food
I did not have a lot of food now I have some.
TV
Stuff
Clothes
I did not have a lot of clothes now I have my own closet with a lot of clothes.
Scouts
Presents
I did not have presents in my old country now in my new country I have a lot of awesome presents.
Journal
I did not have a journal in Ukraine but now I have a journal.
(Can you hear the sarcasm in that sentence?)
More friends
Cousins
Better Easter
Fort
Books
Sisters
I did not have three sisters before but now I have three sisters in America.
Movies
Nice Teachers
And last night he wrote a sentence about how he had a stupid brain in Ukraine and now he has a smart brain. We talked about how he has the same brain now as he had in Ukraine-that he did not have a brain transplant but what changed is people believe in him now and think he's smart. Here is his revised sentence:
People thought in Ukraine I was not smart but people in America, they think I am smart.
I asked who thinks you're smart Alex?
Everyone.
Who specifically, who thinks your smart? Write it down.
My mom thinks I am smart.
That is true not only do I KNOW he's smart, I think I'm pretty smart! So smart that I've decided we all need to keep thankful journals and write down one thing a day we are thankful for. I've already got Rylee started and I'm going to grab cute little notebooks and get everyone started for family night next week. Me included. You don't just need to come from an orphanage to be grateful. We really need to focus on all that we are blessed with. Even if it's cold cereal. Right?

Last year, today was the day I checked Alex out of the orphanage.
(See link below)
I was showing him pictures of last year-at his request but he was looking at them sort of like how you view pictures of surgery or graphic car wrecks-with a wrinkled up nose, look of disgust on his face and a glance like look-not sure he really want to see. He acts as though he can hardly remember what we were doing, where we were or who we were with. He's tried so hard to push Ukraine out of his head. Later that night he told me he "can't forget Ukraine memories" I told him I don't expect him to forget Ukraine. He is who he is because of all the things he's experienced just like Dad is who he is and I am who I am. He doesn't need to forget Ukraine. He won't. He just needs to thank Heavenly Father for getting him out of the orphanage, and finding a family that loves him. He shows love and gratitude to Heavenly Father by living a good life and trying his best. (Specifically in school and with his work ethic-yes this conversation was in the middle of yet another talk about chores and homework!) We talked about how bad he would feel if he built his daughter a tree house and spent hours working on it and hundreds of dollars and she said thank you, thank you but she never played in it. How would he feel? Bad. That's how Heavenly Father must feel when he gives us so much and we say thank you but we choose not to make the most of it. We choose not to study, not to try, not to listen, not to be the best that we can be.
Not the best metaphor, I know. But I had to get him to relate to it. He loves to build things and knows how hard you would have to work to make a tree house. Not sure he grasped the connection I was trying to make but there was a sweet spirit with us during this talk. Very little tears and lots of communication. I explained that the things I'm trying to teach him-doing his chores well and having the drive to do his own homework-are things you usually teach a child when they're five or six. I understand he didn't have a mom to teach him these things when he was five or six and it's okay that he's eleven and learning them now BUT it's been a year and I seem to be teaching the same five and six year old things over and over. There are so many more things I'd like to teach him-things an eleven year old needs to learn but he's got to figure out the little kid stuff first.
(Sigh)
This morning he was looking over his cold lunch I packed him for school and tossed his sandwich in the air, caught it and hugged it to his chest, "Mom you pack me a beautiful yummy sandwich!" He exclaimed with a beaming face.
"Thanks Alex." I said.
Then I might have mentioned how nice it is to be appreciated and how Alex always says such nice things about my cooking. Rylee possibly could have taken offense and defensively said, "He doesn't even know what beautiful means!" To which Alex perhaps replied. "Yes I do! I know what means." and to which I might have nodded and said, "Yes he does. He knows what beautiful means." Because I may have learned that food is beautiful. Especially when you are grateful for it!

http://blessedwitharichhart.blogspot.com/2009/04/april-14th-or-first-day-with-mom.html