April 25th/Day 39 Trip to "Sauna"

Warning….this post may not be suitable for all ages. Reader discretion is advised.
We started this day off with a trip to the “sauna” with Oxana. (That sort of rhymes if you say it out loud!)
We were warned by others, told not to go, other places were recommended but this only added more curiosity and determination for Amy and I so of course we went! (Jeff graciously offered to watch Alex.)
The building was about 150 years old and not in the best of shape. We went into a locker room where with out any inhibition Oxana stripped down to nothing and Amy and I cautiously followed suit. (We’re thinking that we’re going to get a towel…right? Umm…nope. But we did get some sort of hat- that is a sort of a cross between the Hot Dog On The Stick girls and Dopey from the Seven Dwarfs)

(Insert picture of the three of us in stupid hats!)
Although Oxana suggested we take pictures at the “sauna” this is the only picture we took of the event. You’ll just have to use your imagination for the rest.
Anyway, when in Rome….
We walk into the next room that has a few naked ladies showering in showers without doors and we are told to scrub down with a brush and some sort of sea salt soap. Then it was into the oven. Literally. Red glowing coals in fact. I felt like the Gingerbread Woman. Each tier of this “sauna” is about 20 degree’s hotter than the lower one. I can honestly feel myself baking and decide quickly that the lowest (and coolest) rack is the rack for me.
After baking for a few minutes Oxana took these bunches of leaves (we think they’re acorn leaves) that she had soaking in water and did some sort of ritualistic waving and shaking of the leaves and then started fanning us with them and then smacking us with them. I know, weird. But it actually felt rather good. (The leafs were wet and refreshing compared to the heat-apparently the leaves are good for your skin and health.)
After getting hit with the leaves we went out and wrapped in towels and laid on wooden slate beds to “rest”. Amy and I were laughing so hard there was no resting. We couldn’t help it. All these middle aged naked women running around smacking each other with bunches of leaves? And you think our hats looked dumb? There was one that looked like a cross between a pirate hat and something Napoleon would wear and another with little ears like a donkey or Fiona from Shrek.
Anyway we repeated the oven ritual and then it was on to our coffee scrubs. Oxana, worrying about our abstinence from coffee had supplied our Russian massage lady with decaf coffee for our scrubs. There was only one women doing all the scrubs and she was in various states of undress throughout the experience. When Amy got her scrub she was topless, when I got mine she had on a sweatshirt and some sort of wrap and then later we saw here in the wooden slat bed room with only the sweatshirt and no pants.
So just what is a coffee scrub? Well, first off it is not in a private room or a discreet corner. It’s right smack in the middle of the showering/prepare you leaves for smacking room. With naked ladies coming and going. You lay on this stone slab with NOTHING on and then the massage lady takes coffee and starts rubbing it all over your skin. I mean ALL over. And then grinding it into your flesh. I would like to say it was enjoyable but since I had chatted with Amy during her scrub (giving a new meaning to the word “Coffee Talk”) I sort of knew what I was in for and the whole time I kept thinking “Okay, Amy lived through this-I can do this-she’s almost done-oh my heck what am I doing?”
Then it was off to the showers were I attempted to wash ground in coffee off of my skin and out of my belly button. Then back to the oven’s for more heat and leaf whacking .Then we washed our hair-still trying to get coffee grounds off of us, dressed and left.
Whew! We made it. Amy and I have giggled and laughed all day long. We still cannot believe we did this. I’ve never been this naked my whole adult life. I told Amy I would always think of her and this experience every time I walk down the coffee isle of the super market.

Side note from Wendy & Amy: The sauna experience was in no way a sexual and/or pervert thing. It was more like a bonding woman thing and although we laughed and giggled it was because this was so out of our comfort zone. We really appreciate Oxana letting us hang with her on her day off and feel privileged that we were included and had this experience.

We left Oxana at the sauna to walk home and get ready for our afternoon but we were STARVING and not knowing where we could grab food fast-we went to McDonalds. Never have I seen a busier McDonalds. I told Amy we should open a franchise in Dniprozerzkink and put it by the orphanage. I bet we’d be millionaires!
Oxana and Oleg picked us all up and took us to “The Museum of Open Sky” which was a village with authentic old homes and wind mills. There was a church there that Oxana informed us was older than our country. Alex played some soccer with Jeff, Oleg and his son Daniel while Oxana, Amy and I shopped. It was a beautiful day and a wonderful afternoon.
We came back and Amy made Sweet-n-Sour chicken with rice and Alex made two of his famous salads. Alex told me he didn’t want anything but salad for dinner, but being the mean mother that I am I dished him a very small portion of rice and chicken-about a spoonful. He’s eyes filled with tears and her hid his face in his hands and said “no”. So I said, okay, go to bed (see I am mean!) and he stubbornly stuck the food in his mouth tasted it and then asked for more. He loved it! (Well, he loved the chicken, he gave the rice a take it or leave it sign) He told Amy “Amy food good.”
Alex communicates more everyday. Today he was planning his birthday. He wants Amy and Jeff to come for his birthday (as well as every member of our family calling Kammy "big Kammy" and my brothers "big brothers") and Amy is to make Sweet-n-Sour chicken and he’s going to make a BIG BIG salad and everyone is going to bring him “prisints”. Oh, my. We have three months and three days and we’re already planning our birthday.
He’s really ready to go home. It’s amazing how much he can communicate with his few words of English, but we have full on conversations with lots of hand motions, sound effects and guessing. And he makes me laugh at least ten times a day.
He had a conversation with Jeff this morning telling him in no uncertain terms that his Dad could beat him up in a fight. He is quite sure of this and he imitates James and his big muscles.
He sure is a cute boy, although I’m looking forward to him sleeping in his own bed and not putting his knees in my back all night long and hearing him talk in his sleep-which of course is in Russian and I cannot understand in the least.
We’re looking forward to going to church tomorrow. We’ll Amy and I are, Jeff is heading home and Alex grimaces when I mention church. Just like your average American 10 year old.
Here’s to leaf whacking, coffee rubs and adventure. All though I’d rather be home, I think I’ve laughed as much today as I’ve cried all week.