Yesterday was so nice! The weather was way nice but nicer than that....we had very little slated on the calendar!! After eight weeks of three basketball games every Saturday, it was heaven!!
So we all did a little house work and then I just let everyone play. I did a little work-work myself-showed a couple houses, worked on a counter offer but for the most part-just ran a few errands and hung out at home! It was great!
I did go coach the young women basketball game at five. We're in region competition and we won!! Great!? Another game next week!
This is Dev, leading everyone in the Young Woman theme before the game:
I had let Alex play with friends and video games ALL day long. When I left for the adult session of Stake conference I asked him to do three things. Take a bath, read for twenty minutes and write in his journal. I went over these three things again when I left. Okay mom. He said.
So, imagine my surprise when I got home, finding him playing Wii and ask for his journal. He's hastily written two sentences. I asked about reading. Nope, not done. However, he has had a bath.
Once again, we have a long talk. I won't bore you with ALL the details (trust, privileges, obedience) but towards the end I talked to him about him needing to WANT to learn and that I can't MAKE him learn he has to WANT it for himself.
I tell him how smart he is and he looks away. Then I feel a little inspiration. I tell him I know that people in his past told him he was stupid and couldn't learn and that he was no good and he just bows his head and begins to sob. The hurt was so real. I take his face in my hands and tell him how wrong they are. He is NOT stupid. He is so very smart. Tears are just cascading down his cheeks. I just had such a surge of love for this little guy and a surge of anger for the teachers and adults that have made him feel worthless in the past. I kissed his forehead and wiped his tears that flowed so freely and told him to never forget-in fact I made him write it in his journal-"My mom thinks I'm smart!" At first he didn't want to write it because he said. "I not smart." I gave him the story about the farmer that planted peas in his garden and hoped he'd grow corn and how our brains are like gardens and what we plant in them is what grows. If he plants "I am smart" he will grow smart but what happens when you plant "I am NOT smart?" He answered, "I not be smart?" Right. I said. Besides I'm asking you to write "My Mom thinks I'm smart." Then we talked about how he is going to prove all those people wrong that labeled him stupid in his past. He's going to do great things! We hugged and tickled and then I asked if he used soap in his bath? No, shampoo. We talked again (Gosh what is this the 100th time?) about soap. He had received deodorant at the maturation program and although I had already supplied him with deodorant, THIS deodorant he is attempting to use. I told him how soap has deodorant in it and keeps his skin clean and smelling fresh. He gave me one of his "ah-ha" looks, like he finally understood BUT I've been fooled in the past-he's very good at looking like he understands and nodding and the right time and yet....nothing changes! I guess we'll see.
This morning he came rushing down chuckling to himself in his Sunday clothes.
Mom, you know my thought?
No, tell me what you're thinking.
I thought today school day! I wake Rylee. Hurry. We be late to school. I think, "why mom wake up Devree and Austin, not wake us?" Then Rylee say, "Alex it's Sunday." I already have school clothes on! I go change.
I laugh with him and then remind him, he needs another bath this morning. He needs to use soap.
Oh yeah, he says happily and runs to get in the tub.
This is one of the things Alex did yesterday. All on his own. Build a bird house. And he thinks he not smart???
Just in case you're following along with me. I had TWO entries for today last year. Here they are:
I did go coach the young women basketball game at five. We're in region competition and we won!! Great!? Another game next week!
This is Dev, leading everyone in the Young Woman theme before the game:
I had let Alex play with friends and video games ALL day long. When I left for the adult session of Stake conference I asked him to do three things. Take a bath, read for twenty minutes and write in his journal. I went over these three things again when I left. Okay mom. He said.So, imagine my surprise when I got home, finding him playing Wii and ask for his journal. He's hastily written two sentences. I asked about reading. Nope, not done. However, he has had a bath.
Once again, we have a long talk. I won't bore you with ALL the details (trust, privileges, obedience) but towards the end I talked to him about him needing to WANT to learn and that I can't MAKE him learn he has to WANT it for himself.
I tell him how smart he is and he looks away. Then I feel a little inspiration. I tell him I know that people in his past told him he was stupid and couldn't learn and that he was no good and he just bows his head and begins to sob. The hurt was so real. I take his face in my hands and tell him how wrong they are. He is NOT stupid. He is so very smart. Tears are just cascading down his cheeks. I just had such a surge of love for this little guy and a surge of anger for the teachers and adults that have made him feel worthless in the past. I kissed his forehead and wiped his tears that flowed so freely and told him to never forget-in fact I made him write it in his journal-"My mom thinks I'm smart!" At first he didn't want to write it because he said. "I not smart." I gave him the story about the farmer that planted peas in his garden and hoped he'd grow corn and how our brains are like gardens and what we plant in them is what grows. If he plants "I am smart" he will grow smart but what happens when you plant "I am NOT smart?" He answered, "I not be smart?" Right. I said. Besides I'm asking you to write "My Mom thinks I'm smart." Then we talked about how he is going to prove all those people wrong that labeled him stupid in his past. He's going to do great things! We hugged and tickled and then I asked if he used soap in his bath? No, shampoo. We talked again (Gosh what is this the 100th time?) about soap. He had received deodorant at the maturation program and although I had already supplied him with deodorant, THIS deodorant he is attempting to use. I told him how soap has deodorant in it and keeps his skin clean and smelling fresh. He gave me one of his "ah-ha" looks, like he finally understood BUT I've been fooled in the past-he's very good at looking like he understands and nodding and the right time and yet....nothing changes! I guess we'll see.
This morning he came rushing down chuckling to himself in his Sunday clothes.
Mom, you know my thought?
No, tell me what you're thinking.
I thought today school day! I wake Rylee. Hurry. We be late to school. I think, "why mom wake up Devree and Austin, not wake us?" Then Rylee say, "Alex it's Sunday." I already have school clothes on! I go change.
I laugh with him and then remind him, he needs another bath this morning. He needs to use soap.
Oh yeah, he says happily and runs to get in the tub.
This is one of the things Alex did yesterday. All on his own. Build a bird house. And he thinks he not smart???
Just in case you're following along with me. I had TWO entries for today last year. Here they are:
http://blessedwitharichhart.blogspot.com/2009/03/random-ukraine-thoughts.html
http://blessedwitharichhart.blogspot.com/2009/03/we-finally-get-to-see-alex.html
3 of my blog friends said something...:
Honestly, I just love reading y'alls conversations. Your boy is so sweet, and I love your patience, and humor and encouragement with him. He is smart indeed. That bird house is amazing. Let's not even talk about him learning a whole new language, and it sounds, errrr looks, like he is doing a swell job with that! Keep up the good work, kiddo- you ARE a smart guy!
Thanks for sharing your stories, they are encouraging and show us a great way to teach the young lives that we will be blessed with.
Wow, Wendy, I've never known a celebrity movie star! Tell Alex I don't think I could have ever made a bird house, especially in one day. (His braces are so cute.)
Wow, Wendy, I've never known a celebrity movie star! Tell Alex I don't think I could have ever made a bird house, especially in one day. (His braces are so cute.)
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