Smell is a potent wizard that transports you
across thousands of miles and all the years that you have lived.
~Helen Keller
With my youngest baby, I bought new perfume-actually I think James bought me new perfume-and I wore it everyday when she was an infant. I did this not only because I loved the perfume but so I could leave a little blanket with her that "smelled" like me. Hopefully, bringing her comfort that I was close by. Maybe it would help her sleep and/or help James when I left her with him. If it worked or not? Who knows. I've done the same thing with Alex. Before we hosted him I purchased new perfume-actually at the elementary fundraiser. I bid on a basket of Estee Lauder products and got it. Tucked in with the skin care and makeup samples was a full sized, pale pink bottle of fabulous smelling perfume. I wore it everyday Alex was with us that fall. I later mailed him a little USA beanie bear sprayed with the same perfume while he was in the orphanage. I know, kind of corny. I just know smells are such powerful triggers for me. I wanted him to be able to remember me, remember my scent. Remember how his mom smells.
This same perfume I brought to Ukraine and wore everyday while completing our adoption adventure.
When we got home I was tired of it (and Ukraine and the whole experience-truth be told) and I didn't wear it for months. Besides, it was silly. It's not like Alex even noticed. It was a whimsical idea. After being home a few months I started wearing it again, maybe a couple of times a month. Wearing it now makes memories of Ukraine and our whole adoption experience just rush back. And that's a good thing. Now. Now that I've been home for awhile.
I never told Alex about my perfume-or anyone for that matter. I'm sure James just thought I really liked this new perfume. It was just one of my silly, sentimental things. I wanted Alex to associate this smell as "MY MOM" but he had never mentioned it or that he liked how I smelled or anything. He is just a little boy, I mean really. And it's not like I'm going to wear the same perfume forever so it was all kind of silly. I just chalked it up to Wendy's silly sentimentality, a failed experiment. A good excuse to buy perfume. Right?
Well, yesterday I wore the perfume for no rhyme or reason. Probably because I've been walking down memory lane all week re-reading about our experience in Ukraine last year and following the Benson's blog like the blog hawk that I am. They're in Ukraine now adopting out of the same orphanage. Who knows?
So I'm cooking dinner and Alex comes up and leans in for a hug. (Nothing abnormal about that. He likes to hug and he especially likes to eat so I get things like "I love you mom" when I'm preparing dinner. In fact last night I got a "Yous so beautiful Mom." when I put dinner on the table.) I catch him inhaling deeply as he's hugging me. He looks up at me and says "Mom, you smell like Snezhana." (His half brother's wife in Ukraine. The only woman from his past that was ever remotely kind to him.) Snezhana? I was taken back a bit. Did I really smell like Snezhana? Not that she's not a lovely person or anything. I am cooking dinner, maybe I'm cooking something that smells Ukraine-ish? Then I realize I have on my perfume.
Hum.....I highly doubt that Snezhana wears Estee Lauder Beautiful/Sheer on a regular bases. I finished making dinner and give the situation some thought. I think I've figured it out.
What he's smelling IS me but because he's associating feelings and memories from his past-hopefully pleasant memories-he can't quite place it. The only time Alex has ever shared fun, nice, or loving memories Ivan and Snezhana are always part of the picture. So, he's assuming it's Snezhana-she represents his past-his past in Ukraine-he doesn't associate me with his past as I am his present. He's just gone back too far!
Later while sitting with him doing homework I brought it up. I told him my secret, how I had bought this perfume right before he arrived a year ago October and how I wore it everyday then and then everyday in Ukraine. I told him how I did the same thing for Rylee when she was a baby-so she would know how her mama smells. His eyes lit up, "Yes, Mom, it's you!" and then he leaned over and smelled me again. Nodding. Smiling. He remembers. This is how mom smells.
Whimsical. Sentimental. Maybe even silly.
Yep, that's me.
And here I was last year-smelling like I did yesterday!
10 of my blog friends said something...:
The link is broken to the post...can you check? I love following and remembering...well, most of it anyways. lol
Okay. I re-posted and low and behold realized there were THREE post for that day. I think they're working. Let me know.
I also believe that smells have powerful links to memories and emotions. I do a silly thing for my daughter (adopted at 7 years)- I used to buy any floor cleaner that was on sale. Once I used Pine Sol and she commented that she liked the smell. That did it. I now only clean my tile with Pine Sol and hope that whenever she smells it in her future life she'll think of home.
I love it! It made me tear up, I know the power of smell works. I remember how my grnadpa smelled like Old Spice and that is what Bri wears, I just love it.
My daughters won't buy or wear certain perfumes as they smell like me and it's "Mom's scent only". They've told me that other perfumes smell like "Grandma" or "so & so", etc. They want to have their own scent to be remembered by. Yep, smells are very powerful to memory.
Smells are absolutely powerful links to memories! I think that was not a silly idea, but rather fabulous! (Don't laugh, but I love the smell of cucumbers, because it reminds of that time at Grandma Lee's when we ate all of the cucumbers before dinner!:)) javascript:void(0)
I love it! You are so great. I wish I could see you everyday!
I love it! You are so great. I wish I could see you everyday!
Without question, I am more moved by smells than by any of my other senses - loved this post.
Been there done that! Love it! Great minds (moms) think a like. Thanks for showing me that I am not strange at all! (Unless we both are and in that case it's nice to have you for company's)
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